I think my vagina is haunted
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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