I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I pour the whiskey from now on
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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