the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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