Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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