This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
