So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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