I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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