whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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