the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
