hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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