Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
