Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
