i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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