What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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