Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
