Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
