I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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