"it" just moved
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
