Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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