apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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