Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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