On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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