I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize