Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
