is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
