Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
