Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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