Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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