grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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