This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
