Plan B is the new Plan A
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
