Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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