I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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