We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
