He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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