i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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