I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
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