you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
