and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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