Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize