Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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