just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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