he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
