Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
