i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize