When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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