Yo dont text me then not text me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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