If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
