I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
