i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
