I need help removing her.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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