My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
