this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
