let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
