Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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