I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize