I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
