i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
