I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
