i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
