Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
