Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You can't special order awesome
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize