Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize