I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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