you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
