Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
