that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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