Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize