We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
