we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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