If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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