happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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