doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You are a genius and a whore.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
