Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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